Funnies/Ask Amy

Does Doom Scrolling Doom Me to Depression?

Dear Amy: I’ve noticed I’m on social media A LOT more since the pandemic started and I’ve gotten into the habit of “doomscrolling” (endlessly scrolling through depressing news stories). Any advice on how to balance screen time so I stay informed on current issues without growing to completely hate social media?
– Doom Scroller

Dear Doom Scroller: This is something I have also battled with intensely the past year. No generation before us has gone through a global pandemic with the globe at their fingertips.

After being disconnected from everyone, here in our hands, with a swipe, we are connecting with a plethora of people with all their thoughts, feelings, jokes, news, rage, hot takes and cold takedowns, but is it actually connecting?

I am not sure coming to hate social media is such a bad outcome! I had to acknowledge there was something that actually disconnects me from my life when I go in for the scroll, and that break from my IRL is weirdly soothing. So where I used to think I was connecting, I realized I am actually doing the opposite.

I have tried to curb my social media enthusiasm by giving myself time limits. When my phone alerts me that my phone use is down, it gives me a rush of pride. I have turned this into a kind of challenge, to keep the phone times decreasing every week as much as possible. On the occasional jaunt out, I leave the phone at home so I don’t find myself mindlessly scrolling while having a coffee when I could be doing actual people watching! Way better. Looking up can be so much more satisfying than the down curve of the neck screen. Actual birds! Not rolling through human tweets.

Make a promise you will wait when you wake up and open your eyes not to launch right into the scroll. Set an alarm when you go in to remind yourself how long you have been feeding your mind with endless nattering and memes. If you do spend hours scrolling because you are maybe struggling during the weirdest time ever, don’t beat yourself up—chalk it up to a bad day.

COVID Scare Shows Vaccine Value

Dear Amy: I heard you had COVID, so sorry. Glad you’re okay. Not to be too clinical, but what did you learn from the experience? (PS: Really glad you are okay!)
– Covid Curious

Dear Covid Curious: Thanks for asking! We were so lucky and I think, because we got it from my four-year-old who had no symptoms, the viral load was low. I had the worst of the symptoms and got a steroid for my lungs. It lasted about 10 days for me, my daughter had a few symptoms over a couple days and my sweetheart Evan Cranley got better in about a week. I had just been vaccinated, so now that I have had COVID and the vaccine I am in the clear—which feels like such a blessing.

The vaccine rollout is so exciting and really feels like it is helping this whole thing come to an end. Having had both COVID and the vaccine, I would really advise getting the vaccine for any hesitants out there. Like the measles and polio, we can end this with a vaccinated population, so go get that liquid gold! The vaccine is a GIFT!

Does Stars Star Get Stage Fright?

Dear Amy: I see you are going to play again, lucky you. I assume you want to play again but, does the thought still give you anxiety? Can you look forward to playing a show and be nervous about it? I want to be a performer, love how my songs sound in my bedroom but the idea of playing in front of people makes me a little sick. Should I think of a different dream with no possibility of stage fright?
– Stage Frightened

Dear Stage Frightened: I have terrible stage fright! I haven’t put out a solo record in over 10 years because of it! The only thing that really helped me was having a band. When I feel all the pressure is under “Amy Millan,” I go COLD! Maybe get some really great friends and musicians together and make a band, then a name, and then you are more like a gang! When you are in it with others and everyone has a stake, it can really help with the fright.

If you do get up the courage to go at it alone, I do have a trick that sometimes helped and I actually got to pass on to Steve Drodz of Flaming Lips fame, who also suffers from some stage fright. There is the old saying “picture everyone naked,” but I always thought that was kind of silly. It did occur to me once when I started feeling self-conscious, looking out on the crowd: “Everyone in this room will one day be dead, so why not live now without fear?”

You go, dreamer.

Pride Pain Feels Hopeless

Dear Amy: I’m a queer teen who should be happy during Pride but it depresses me because it reminds me I have two lives: my out life in my community, and my closeted life with my family. I’ve learned to live with it but wish it would change someday and have no idea how—so, how?
– Two Lifer

Hi, Two Lifer! When I read your letter, I thought my dear friend Caely White, who has more experience in such matters, could answer your question beautifully. My plan with “Ask Amy” is to also gather diverse voices of wisdom, and not just my straight, white, cis woman perspective. Here’s Caely with some sage advice.

Dear Two Lifer: Thank you for being so vulnerable. I think, in knowing your truth and living it, you will be able to understand that those who are able to fully support you are the ones that deserve you. It might sound clichéd, but the idea of chosen family is a huge aspect of adult life, and not just in the queer community. I truly believe you will be able to find a sense of family, no matter the outcome.

And most importantly— enjoy Pride as a proud member of the LGBTQ+ community!! Have some fun.

Amy Millan is a Canadian indie rock singer and guitarist. She records and performs with Stars and Broken Social Scene and has a successful solo career.

Have a question for Amy? askamy@nextmag.ca