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In addition to providing a massive audience for Kendrick Lamar’s dis track of our local hero, Drake, there is also a football game today. NEXT’s NFL guru William Molls offers this primer for the sports disengaged.

Where is the game being held this year?
New Orleans

What time does it start?
6:30 pm (EST)

Who is performing at halftime?
Kendrick Lamar

Who’s playing?

The Philadelphia Eagles

• Founded: 1933
• Head Coach: Nick Sirianni
• Quarterback: Jalen Hurts
• Super Bowl Record: 1 win, 5 appearances

 The Kansas City Chiefs

• Founded: 1959
• Head Coach: Andy Reid
• Quarterback: Patrick Mahomes
• Super Bowl Record: 4 wins, 7 appearances

Who should I cheer for?

Reasons to cheer for the Kansas City Chiefs

• You’re excited to see Taylor Swift’s boyfriend and Chiefs tight end (that’s a position on the field, not a description) Travis Kelce propose to her during the on-the-field celebrations after the Chiefs inevitably win this game.
• That’s it. That’s the only reason.

Reasons not to cheer for the Kansas City Chiefs

• Ugh, where do I even start?
• You’re sick of this team being in the Super Bowl. It’s their fifth appearance in the past six years. Worse, this is their third Super Bowl appearance in a row, and they won the last two. They’re going for the “three-peat” this year, and everybody hates an overachieving try-hard.
• They benefited from some awfully suspicious officiating in the semi-final game against the Buffalo Bills. (The conspiracy theory is that the fix was in to ensure Taylor Swift would be at the big game, and it cost the Bills their first trip to the Super Bowl since 1993.)
• Their team name, mascot, the “Tomahawk chop” chant, etc., are all blatantly racist examples of Indigenous cultural appropriation.

Reasons to cheer for the Philadelphia Eagles

• Their quarterback is Jalen Hurts—and he’s been hurting ever since he and the Eagles lost to the Chiefs in the Super Bowl two years ago. This rematch is their chance at revenge
• The party in Philadelphia if they win will obviously be so much more fun and chaotic.
• Eagles player Jason Kelce (Travis’ brother) only just retired last year, but he’ll still be at the game to cheer on his former team. Even he is rooting for the Eagles, and his own brother plays for the Chiefs.

Reasons not to cheer for the Philadelphia Eagles

• Their signature move is the “Brotherly Shove”—also called ”the Tush Push”—and while it has a great name, it’s a nearly unstoppable move where everyone works together to physically shove the quarterback forward a few yards in situations where you only need a short gain. It’s so effective the NFL is considering a rule change to ban it.
• Eagles fans once booed and threw snowballs at Santa Claus. (It could’ve been worse—they’ve also been known to throw batteries.)
• Other things Eagles fans have booed: Their own quarterback, Destiny’s Child, injured players. Things Eagles fans have cheered: Michael Irvin’s career-ending neck injury.

Gambling for fun or profit

Are you ready for approximately four hours of non-stop sports betting advertising? Forget the apps and play along at home with these fun prop bets instead!

• National Anthem Length (Jon Batiste):
  • Over/Under: 1 minute, 46 seconds
• Coin Toss:
  • Heads / Tails
• Gatorade Shower Colour:
  • Orange / Green-Yellow / Red / Blue / Other
• First Halftime Song:
  • “HUMBLE”, “DNA”, “Alright”, “King Kunta”, “Not Like Us”, Other
• Total Taylor Swift Appearances:
  • Over/Under: 6.5
• Will Travis Kelce Propose to Taylor Swift?
  • Yes / No
• Who will the MVP thank first?
  • Teammates / Coach / Family / God / Team Owner / Nobody