Funnies/Ask Amy

Anti-Vax Family Frustrate, Infuriate

Dear Amy: Now that vaccines are being circulated, albeit slowly, we can all see a small glimmer of light in the COVID tunnel. Or so I thought. I’ve just discovered my sister-in-law and niece, my older brother’s second wife and adult daughter, are refusing to get vaccinated.

Apparently, they don’t trust the science and they won’t listen to facts or reason. They just shut down and refuse to engage. I’m shocked, appalled and furious this is happening in my own family. On top of it, they both have public-facing jobs. I’m probably not the only one facing this issue. What can I do?
– Vax Fax Jack

Dear Vax Fax: It is incredible, after this truly difficult year, that there are people who are set on keeping us in this place. I have listened to a lot of podcasts on this topic and the experts say, mostly, that shaming is no route to success. If met with empathy and understanding for their fears, then people are more likely to be persuaded. It would be a hard pill for me to swallow for sure, as my passion burns pretty hard for science, but it seems this is the only way to maybe change their minds.

That being said, once people are set, it is very difficult to change them. If you want to remain cordial with your sister-in-law and niece, the topic may have be one of those things that just doesn’t get brought up at Christmas dinner and will have to be ignored for the sake of the family. But, with you being vaccinated, you know you will be safe if they are still carrying the virus. So sad when people think they are smarter than the scientists.

Vaccinations are open now, Canada—go get them so we can go back to live music!

Job Hunting Feels Hopeless

Dear Amy: I’ve been trying to navigate the job market for these last few months and have been rather unsuccessful. I’ve been struggling with feelings of inadequacy, that my work and qualifications aren’t good enough to even get a call back. What do I do?
– Good Enough?

Dear Good Enough?: Watch Working Girl! And 9 to 5! Get those motivational Instagrams to inspire you! Also, you must know that when you can’t navigate in the world during a pandemic, then it is almost impossible to find work right now. While we are in lockdown, maybe look at upping your credentials through some online courses and trawl on LinkedIn! You’ve got this!

Runaway Thoughts: Real or Fantasy?

Dear Amy: The pandemic has caused me to re-evaluate a lot of the goals and priorities I had in life. There is a growing part of me that says “Fuck it” and wants to drop my life here and move to some distant shores and start anew. How do I tell if this is a passing pandemic fantasy or something I really want?
– Dropout Dreamer

Dear Dropout Dreamer: This has been a common line of thought with many people. My advice? Maybe it’s not such a great idea to make sweeping, massive changes to your life during a worldwide pandemic. If the feeling is truly moving you, would you consider taking a sabbatical?

Take six months, a year, to move to a new place and search for new work. You could get to the quiet lands or the ocean and then decide small-town life is the last thing you need and you miss the bustle of the city when it gets going, which is only around the corner. Dipping toes is sometimes a better way to started than a full cannonball into new waters.

Use Art of War to Wage Peace

Dear Amy: I have a colleague who I work with closely, and he has recently been making subtle jabs at the work I’m doing and comparing me to another co-worker, who he is suggesting is doing better work then I am. I really like the guy but I feel like he’s trying to take all my confidence so I don’t move ahead. What should I do?
– Work Worrier

Dear Work Worrier: The Art of War—read that book! The best lesson from it is that the smartest way to win a war is to never go to battle. I would say it’s time to slowly tune him out. Put up a psychic hood that is a barrier to his criticism. Then—most importantly—you buddy up with the person he claims is doing a better job then you. The two of you can then bind together and dominate, making a super team that cruises by him as he treads in shallow water.

Amy Millan is a Canadian indie rock singer and guitarist. She records and performs with Stars and Broken Social Scene and has a successful solo career.

Have a question for Amy? askamy@nextmag.ca